Cheers To A New Year

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

Okay I kind of had to force myself to write this one but I ended up really getting into it. I want to talk about New Years resolutions.

Yes, it’s those stupid promises you make at the beginning of the year but break on the first week.
Every year I say that my resolution is to lose weight. That never happens.

I could if I really tried to. I also promise to study more. And be a better person.
The thing is I think that if I try hard enough I can be the person I want to be.

We could change our live in an instant. We could jump off a cliff. We could tell someone we love them. We could save someone’s life.
Jumping off a cliff wouldn’t improve our life but it just shows we are in control of our life. We have control and the ability to change our lives if we have the willpower.

I can be a better person.
I can lose weight.
I can study more.
I can change.

Do you know people say “be the change”. Well I never quite got that until now. You have to make it yourself, you have to become what you want to be and not wait for anyone or anything.

We can change our lives and the trick isn’t finding out how, it’s actually doing it.
It’s not about how much you want it, it’s what you are willing to do about it.

Happy holidays. Wish you a happy year with lots of smiles and happiness to come. Make this next year great.

Thanks for reading and what’s your New Years resolution? What do you want out of the New Year?

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For Christmas..

I want my uncles ability to laugh it off.
I want my aunts strength.
I want my grandmas bravery.
I want my brothers determination.
I want my dads fearlessness.
I want my mums willpower.

For Christmas or any day I would choose to have these instead of fancy presents. Presents will come and go but qualities like these would never fade.
I could have added so many more people. Everyone of them amazing in their own right. I think these are the kind of people teenagers and kids should look up to.
These people are truly great and I love them so much. I know a lot of people say this but I truly believe I have the greatest family ever.

I don’t know why I feel in such a tacky mood. It’s probably because school holidays are here (and that make me happy).

What do you want for Christmas this year?

Thanks for reading.

I Believed In Unicorns

“Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”
― G.K. Chesterton

I was speaking to my friends and they said that they didn’t believe in myths when they were little. “Scientifically impossible”, they claimed. Apparently they didn’t even believe in Santa Claus nor the tooth fairy. Bullshit. Either they are lying or they had a really boring childhood. One thing I know is that my childhood wouldn’t have been the same without these. I won’t be the same.

Yes, the title is true. I believes in unicorns when I was younger. No, actually I believed in unicorns, fairies, and mermaids. My childhood was the time where I could push boundaries. As a child you can go around and ask for a unicorn and no one would look at you weird. Childhood is like the what ifs of life and gives you a chance to explore this. It’s like a whole different person with a different perspective.

I also believed in dragons, vampires, werewolves and witches. The one thing that it also taught me was they could be defeated. There is a world so much bigger than we know.

It even told me things weren’t what they seemed. Beauty and the Beast is one of my favourite movies because in this the monster isn’t really a monster and the supposedly handsome guy is the real beast. Belle sees this and from that moment on the Beast is no longer considered a beast.

What I’m trying to say is that in life we would face these “monsters” and they won’t even be the problem we think it is. Ultimately we can overcome these obstacles, we may not get the fairy tale but we might be far better off from where we started. I may not believe on fairytales anymore but whose to say they don’t exist. They exist in the imagination of those millions of dreaming kids.

Hoped you enjoyed it. Now if you could choose one mythical creature to exist…

Back to Reality

“I believe that you’ve created a metaphorical universe in which you can express your darkest fears. In one aspect, yes, I believe in ghosts, but we create them. We haunt ourselves, and sometimes we do such a good job, we lose track of reality.”
— Laurie Halse Anderson (Wintergirls)

Reality. That’s it. It’s harsh, cruel but undeniably beautiful. This is where the memories happen, the good times and unfortunately also the bad. It has emotion, feeling, everything to do about anything.

People can be dreamers, realists, optimists, whatever. Overall, there is still the real world.
People can dream. They may never get famous. Or rich. They may never get married. Or have kids.

What’d do you want? Because there are some people who do get it. Even those who don’t, who is to say they are not happy. Maybe those who got what they wanted aren’t happy because they haven’t appreciated it, they’ve never worked for it and always want more.

It’s what you make it, no matter who you are you need an aspiration. Sure for some it’s easier but you still have to try. It would be even worse thinking what if.
Reality isn’t bad, reality is what you make it.

Now honestly what do you want?
I know this is tacky, but I choose happiness.

Broken Promises

Okay, I’m still making up my mind what I think of this one but I’d love for your feedback. Here’s another piece of fiction by me, hope you enjoy.

He bumped into her. Hard. They both fell onto the ground. It wasn’t perfect and the fact that they were both klutzes didn’t make it easier. Even with that it still couldn’t have gone better. He was a gentleman, he helped her up when she fell and from that moment didn’t let her fall again. They knew immediately that they would have huge affects on each others lives just not in the way they imagined.

It was true, they were meant to be there for each other. They could’ve made all the promises they wanted to but eventually, someone will mess up a relationship. In this case it was him. They had a good thing going and were head over heels in love. Their love was ones that people strived for. The kind of love that people would read about. Just not exactly how they imagined it.

He was just a boy out of school, who wanted to give the girl he loved everything. They wanted more. No matter what. Maybe if they weren’t blinded by their “love” then it wouldn’t have come to this.

The boy sat there. He sat next to her and thought about all the times that had shared and promises they made.

He remembered her lying beside on the grass. The sun was shining on her face. She practically glowed. People didn’t think of her as “pretty” but the boy thought she was absolutely beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, people seem to say that a lot but this is the only true way in which it can be used. She illuminated colour and dreams. And ultimately hope. Hope for what, their future, their lives.
Instead now when he looked at her she had the same expression she has had for two months. Blankness. He looked at the face that made him feel hopeful and happy. The face that radiated exactly what he needed. Now it was a plain pale face. Perfectly expressionless.

He remember them sitting on the bench. She told him something no one has ever heard her say before, “I love you”. He squeezed her hand and looked at her in a way that needed no words. But he still said “I love you too. Those words don’t even begin to express how I feel”. That was enough to make anyone feel sick except for those saying it. Because only they can know how good it feels to have your love returned by someone who means so much.
When they parted they held hands for as long as they could. Palm in palm and then parted from their fingertips.
He promised to always hold her and he did until that moment. She kept her promise, she was there for as long as she could.
Now, he took her hand and it had no movement, she didn’t hold him back. It was just a sad boy grabbing a girls hand that couldn’t return the touch.

He watched her walk away. The girl so full of life walked away. The boy experienced the most painful thing anyone can face.
He reminded himself of how she walked. She would straighten her back and try not to slouch. She would trip occasionally. She would look down but when she did he told her that way he couldn’t see her face.
Now he may never see that again.

That night when they walked in opposite directions. She never even saw it coming. He wished he walked her home that night but he didn’t. He couldn’t, he had problems of his own and she respected that. She completely understood, which now makes him even more miserable.

He looked at her face. It was her and yet he couldn’t recognise her not because of the scars or the stitches, just the fact that she stayed expressionless. Before when he looked over at her he saw her smile, he remembered her laughing a bit. He remembered that cheesy grin she had. Even when she was annoyed she had a look, something in her eyes, not everyone could see it but he could. When she was shy, he could tell. Every single face beautiful in its own right.

The thing most beautiful was her. The way she spoke. I haven’t spoken to her in months, I would kill to hear her voice again- the boy thought. She was perfectly imperfect. She stuttered sometimes. She didn’t pronounce some words properly but if you could hear her speak to you like she spoke to him, you would never forget it. He would never forget it nor would he ever want to.

What happened that night he would never forget. He have never experienced so pain, so much agony. It wasn’t physical, it was emotional, which only made it far worse.

He waited for him he said it was the last thing. “Unfinished business” was all it was meant to be. He didn’t expect it to go that far but it did. He just wanted her to have everything. Instead she got nothing, it’s as if he has deprived her of something instead.

She was meant to change the world. She had big plans. She wanted to save lives, make a difference, inspire someone, be remembered.
The boy thought it should’ve been him and that she was so much more than him, maybe he was right. I’m worthless, I gave her nothing. After she gave me so much, these were the only thoughts he allowed himself to think for months, if he thought of anything else it would only make him feel worse.

She has been in a coma for 2 months, 3 weeks and a day. Since then she has had so many visitors, so many that he lost count after the first few days. Her parents practically lived there, her siblings haven’t been out with their friends because they go to see her everyday after school. She has had countless cousins, aunties, uncles and friends come to visit. Even her grandparents are such amazing people.

It’s easy to spot the people she wasn’t close with because they give the boy a weird look, he’s just a stranger to them. He couldn’t blame her parents for hating him. They appreciated the fact he was there, they would buy him meals, tea, whatever and they would allow him to be there. Nothing more. However he could feel their coldness thawing, being replaced by sadness more and more each day.

It should’ve been him. That night he sat there for hours. Waiting to finish what he started. The girl had a bad feeling from the start, the boy told her everything that night. She comforted him and was happy it would soon be over. She was right it would be over, but she would pay the price.
He got mixed in with the wrong people, as simple as that.

Now he remembered everything. He knew it should’ve been him. He was by her side, just them two, alone.

“Babe, I’m sorry. But what’s that gonna do? I’m fucking useless, I couldn’t even make you happy”, he was wrong he did make her happy, they didn’t need anything else. He sobbed but still managed to choke out, “you was- are everything, you deserve to live. Remember you wanted to get married, have kids. You wanted to help people. You had dreams”. He cried and cried but still spoke. “What am I gonna do without you? What is the world gonna do without you?” He kissed her on the nose and her forehead whilst stroking her hair. “I love you so much. You are so loved, you will always be loved. You are going to change the world and I hope I’m there to see it. I love you, you are my everything.”

This is probably the part of the story where the girl, wakes up and says I love you too, then they live happily ever after.

Instead he cried, after months of numbness, he let it out. Her parents and siblings all came in. They all greeted her with a kiss on her forehead. That night, whilst she was surrounded by the people she loved most and they shared their favourite stories of her, is the night she slowly, slowly drifted.

That was it at 00.36.

Perfection

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.
Delicious Ambiguity.”
— Gilda Radner

You’re not perfect. Nobody is and nobody ever will be. So stop trying to be this idea of perfect. Believe me, you’re better off being yourself.

And to everyone who thinks they are perfect. Well, GTFO. But seriously, come on, dude. You can be pretty and popular but you may be a bitch. You can be the perfect friend but that doesn’t make you the perfect daughter/ son.

You may wanna change yourself and you really don’t need to. I know I’m not perfect, not even close but I don’t wish to change. I hate my nose but I’m not going to get surgery. I have messy hair but I’m not going to straighten it everyday (mainly because I don’t wanna be bald by the time I’m 30). There are times when change isn’t so bad. Revise more, join a club, help someone.

I think that all anyone can do is be yourself and hope that’s good enough. Perfection is an idealisation by people who want the impossible, the people who want this fake, materialistic world full of fake people to go with this “perfect” world.
On the way to this self discovery a few people will hurt you along the way but at least you know you’re going somewhere. Grow from this, change the world, make a difference, be happy.

Thank you for reading