The girl loved and loved and loved. Only to get crushed. Over and over again. Just because the girl loved, didn’t mean people returned it. The worst thing is when someone you love betrays that love. The girl experienced this more times anyone should in a lifetime. Through all this love, she lost something far more important- her own happiness
So, she stopped. Just like that, she stopped. She had fallen and been broken. Now she was shattered. She couldn’t allow herself to trust, she built walls. Unbreakable walls. She wasn’t happy, she wanted to love she felt nothing and only made her more sad.
The funny thing is is when you stop caring for so long then you don’t have to try, you just can’t. It was harder to care than not to care.
These walls were projections of what went wrong, what she was scared of. These unbreakable walls could be torn by only one person, the very same person who created them.
She loved a boy. This boy was like any other. He loved himself a little bit too much, lived frivolously and thought too much of what others thought. They were young and in love. They shared the experiences young love tend to. He gave her her first kiss and she gave him a reason. They were happy but the boy thought of others before himself.
“She’s nothing special. I don’t know, because she’s not that pretty I thought she would have a bit more substance than the other girls but she proved me wrong. We had a good run.” These were the exact words she heard him say about her. She overheard the boy talking and she knew it was punishment for loving too easily and falling too hard. I don’t question the boys love for her because it could be a facade but he still said it and he lost her.
The worst thing was the girl felt nothing. She wasn’t sad because she didn’t break these walls. Her world was bigger than this but she didn’t allow herself to experience it, or anything. These walls well they were what frightened her even more.
And who is this narrator telling this story? That’s a story in itself.
We met on the train. She was sitting in the corner, looking out the window. In a world of her own, so distant from me or anyone else for that matter.
This amazed me. I asked her “where are you going”. She looked at me, and calmly said, “anywhere”. This just made me smile. “What if I gave you reason to go somewhere?”
“Well it’s got to be a pretty good reason.” She looked down and smiled, she smiled a hurt smile.
I gave her my number, so it was up to her, a decision which would ultimately affected her whole life.
She did call and we spoke long enough to arrange a date.
I remember many dates, the red dress, the skinny jeans and top, the makeup, the hats, the gloves but not scarves, she hated scarves. I remember snow. I remember the seasons changing. I remember the laughs, the tears. I remember the good times and bad times. I remember her slowly breaking the walls down.
We loved, we fell but we didn’t break.
I gave her the best gift that winter. I gave her her happy ending because January 4th that year we stood at the alter.
You see nothing beats your first love. Except one thing and that’s growing old with your true love.
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