Prologue

There once was a time of utter turmoil in the world. The earth was in distress making the idea of living absolutely menacing. Everywhere and everything was war torn.
Those people left behind- Those who did not die in battle, or in poverty, or by the hands of mercenaries-  roamed the land to look for a way to survive. They lived off scraps. They lived alone in their sadness. To be left alive was luck but to live was not lucky. They watched their families die before their very eyes. They saw the devolution of humankind and the death of humanity. They had no solace. They survived for the sake of simply not dying. There were still many people who chose to die by their own hand when the darkness became too much. These people were envied for they had escaped, no pity was wasted on them. 
The battle of the land was over but the war never ended. In this desolate place, the remaining life is often forgotten and the dead live on by their mourners.
However, there may still be life. Over the dull sand and under the blistering heat stood two young adults looking for survival.

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My Very First Cosplay

MCM London has just passed us (it’s like a small comic con in London for those who don’t know) and this was finally the year that I cosplayed. Usually I appreciate the cosplays then spend hours browsing the comics and anime merch. Nope this year I group cosplayed Kuroko No Basket with my friends and it was fucking awesome.

I cosplayed akashi seijuro (basically the crazy one) one of my favourite characters.

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I looked like trash in comparison to my hot friends but I forgot about my trashness and enjoyed the day.

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I was trying to look as anime as possible so opened my eyes out so wide. (Allow my weirdness please :p)

So many people stopped and asked us for pictures and it was so nice seeing people looking amazing in their cosplays saying these things to you.

The main reason I didn’t cosplay before was because I was really self conscious about how I’d look so I’m really happy that I did a group one.
It’s so fun cosplaying characters you love and ended up loving it more than I thought.
I managed to get some merch and shirts still. So it was a pretty good time.
I would do it again and I hope that if anyone is curious they’d give it a try because it’s definitely an experience.
Next I’m thinking either ariel or L from death note (people might judge the laziness).

Maybe I’m Always Sad I Just Don’t Know It

Do you know those moods where you just wanna cry for no apparent reason? The day is just like any other day, exactly the same but you just wanna be sad. You don’t want to move for hours and just wallow in sadness.
But life doesn’t stop for your sadness, you just get on with the day. A forever distraction.
Maybe you feel like this all the time but the world just keeps you busy enough to forget that you’re always sad.
It’s kind of sad that I can’t even be sad.

I Can’t Deal With Unwanted Attention

My blog is by no means a relationship feed or filled with articles about boys. I am no Carrie Bradshaw and have no intention to be.
I think I have made it clear on this site that I am destined to be spinster. Especially seeing as I am terrified of commitment and much rather spend time with my friends discussing cats or fictional characters.
I make my need for a relationship clear in real life. With men and women alike, saying that I don’t see myself in a relationship and can’t stand the effort of other people beyond friendship.
But why oh why do guys think that I am not being serious. Why do they think my insults is flirting? Why must they put me on an awkward situation?

I appreciate men who friendzone me and I friendzone them, being friends and understand the boundaries. But some boys think that if I refer to them as a buddy and thinl that they should flirt anyway. My body is not capable of flirting, my childish face, bad hair and chubby stomach screams unattractive. I’m not trying to not look good but it happens.

The experience that spurred this one was that one “friend” who I haven’t seen in a few months, started to be more awkward than usual. In the past I have spoken about girls that he may like and my views on relationships so it’s pretty clear that I don’t want any unnecessary attention. In general I tend to have awkward reactions to very explicit conversations. Today in particular he singled me out of my friends and sat a little to close to comfort. Asked me about things that I haven’t told him, so clearly seen via snap chat months ago. He chose to spend time sitting with me than with his own friends until I told him that he should go. But not before hearing my friend mention something about my bra size under her breath. To which he continued to pester me about which size I really was. I told him very clear that I wasn’t gonna tell him but he made remarks that he wasn’t gonna quit. He then returned and mentioned about it again. My friends just made jokes that they were right that he wasn’t a friend and just an awkward fuckboy.

I haven’t noticed before but I’ve been told many times that he’s checked me out head to toe when my back is turned. Also the fact that he only greets my group of friends when I’m around. Which he makes an effort to sit next to me even asking me to move my belongings and make space for him. The worst thing is when he tries to touch my feet cos I put my legs on the table (with shoes obviously. But it’s still weird.)

People would probably just say if you were attracted to him it would be different. And to that I would say maybe. I haven’t been attracted to a real person I’ve met since I was 13 and I only fall for people with a personality to match mine and I need to know someone very very well before I get those romantic feelings. And I hate that he thinks he knows me well. The reason I’m not attracted to him is because of him. His face is decent and I can see if people are attracted to him but thinking about his face makes me feel sick.

I wanna be nice but don’t wanna give out the wrong impression. I’m done with the inappropriate comments, kissy faces and the touching.

The main reason I wrote this is because I feel weird but at the same time feel like I’m over exaggerating.
Why do guys flirt with friends? Or am I just being too sensitive?