I’m worried I’ll be in a dead end job with incompetent managers. I’m worried I wont be content with what I have. I’m worried I’ll die knowing how it started.
As much as I say I don’t miss uni, I miss the memories. I miss avoiding all responsibility. Skipping lectures to eat with your friends. Have no cares even though I should care. Not worrying about what’s next.
Even though I only work part time, maybe less than part time. I just wanna blow off work one day and do everything I’m not meant to. Pull a sickie and then meet my friends to chill and grab dessert.
I hate that I need to think about what’s next. I hate that I have no clue. I hate there’s a voice inside me that I’ll spend my whole life trying to figure it out. As a result I hate that I might never be happy with this grating voice.
One of my closest friends is experiencing the first time in her life a lack of ambition. She has no plan and her dreams that once were are now gone. In order to battle her lack of morale she asks others what they’re dreams are. Insight, motivation, any would do for her.
When she asked me and it dawned on me I have no dreams. It’s never bothered me. I’d rather be stuck in the now and worry about the future when it comes. I simply told her, “I have no dream. I’m just trying to get by.” At this moment of time just living is hard enough so I’ve never looked to the future. It doesn’t bug me that I dont have a dream. Either way, no matter what we do we are gonna wake up at 40 thinking that we haven’t achieved anything, so why set myself up for failure?
For me, I’m looking for a job. So far I’m unsuccessful but im still in university. My lack of dream doesn’t mean I’m not going to try. My dream will come to me. Maybe. Most probably not.
“I know she’s shy. I know she doesn’t have very many friends. I just want her to be strong, you know? To be able to face the world for what it is. That’s why I don’t encourage the fairy tales. I don’t want to set her up to believe in this ‘dreams come true’ nonsense.”-Robert
Those things in which we hoped for in life only to realise in pure disappointment that they didn’t exist. I think that fairy tales are great but it’s almost like people are setting you up for disappointment. Personally I don’t believe in fairy tales. I believe in “once upon a time”s but not “they lived happily ever after”s because they simply don’t exist. They’re a great story but that’s all they’re stories.
I have a story to share which inspired me to write this.
“Once upon a time there lived a lady who did everything right she was nice, sweet, respectful and just great. Still people took advantage of her good nature and walked all over her.
Several years later just as she got her enemies to turn into allies she realised that she couldn’t have kids but never did she get knocked down so she got a baby not hers but she loved this baby. She was a devoted mother and just as she gained happiness she got bad news.
She was ill, this was a roller coaster ride and just when everything looked like it was going to be okay, it wasn’t.
Nothing worked and her last couple of weeks she couldn’t even say goodbye to her beautiful child because she couldn’t talk. She couldn’t give her child a hug because she was able to move. No closure no nothing just that. No happily ever after just that.”
I don’t believe that Prince Charming will whisk a girl off in her time of need because he’s just a spoilt brat too busy fixing his hair. Nor do I think that a knight in shining armour will come and ride a girl off in the sunset. I believe that good people deserve this happily ever after but it doesn’t happen. Sure they’ll be some stories that restore your faith in these tales but they are short lived. It’s a cynical view but I’m not going to wait in a tower for someone to rescue me from this.