I Guess This Is My Life Now

Eyes fluttering open before dawn,

Continuing the endeavour till way after dusk,

I sometimes forget what that fire looks like,

How much it burns,

It’s so odd how the memories feel so distant,

What if this isn’t the life I wanted?

 

 

But am I

smart enough

strong enough

bothered enough

to break out this perpetual circle of disdain and futility

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I Live With No Regrets. Sometimes.

I’ve always thought that I’ve had no regrets. I’m too young. Too boring. Too introverted to have regrets.
But every now and again something happens to remind me of every regret. Every single little thing that I wish I had done. Big things. Small things. Not shouting back at that person, not being more rebellious or experimental.
Maybe i havent done it because im too scared.
Or too smart.
Even too lazy.

Until this realisation occurs in my almost blissful existance. I push back every regret, in small dark place in the back of my mind which may flood open any time.
I live in peaceful ignorance until it opens once more, only living with more regrets.